The most important relationship for children who are in the phase of the adaptation to relationships is their relationship with parents.
The second most important one is the relationship with friends and the third most important is the relationship with teachers. The relationships
children under 12 are limited and they learn how to form and maintain relationships with people in such limited relationships.
Children can learn a lot about relationships during holidays. They can meet family members and relatives and try out their strategies for
forming relationships. They may have arguments with cousins and interact with adult relatives who adore them.
“I am not playing with John. He always break my toys!” Then, the aunt would approach and help him fix the toy. The aunt may say,
"You can play with John's toy for a while. John, is it OK for Tom to play with your toy until we fix his?“ John agrees with the aunt and Tom
decides to play with John again.
Children in the phase of the adaptation to relationships are quick to fight with other children and then compromise learning how to form
and maintain relationships. When they are neglected by parents and cannot have many opportunities to try out diverse strategies and learn how
to manage relationships, they may suffer from difficulties in managing relationships when they become adults.
Emily brings Jane, a friend of hers, to home. Emily's mother is overly sweet to Jane and Emily develops the idea that her mother likes Jane
more than Emily because Jane is the smart one at school. Emily thinks that she shouldn't have brought Jane to her home. Emily looks grumpy
while playing with Jane. Her mother doesn't know about what Emily thinks, and keeps showing interest in Jana. Emily suddenly yells at her mother,
"I hate you!”, and goes to her room and begins to cry. Her mother is surprised and don't know what to do. When children act differently after
they bring friends to home, it may be because they developed the sense of jealousy and envy. Many children cannot stand the situation when
their mother's attention is directed to other children. They may be able to heal stress and not keep the occasion in memory as a negative one
when the mother actively helps them restore positive emotions.
